So I married my best friend...

July 1999. That's when Chance and I first started what we called a "no strings attached" relationship. At this time, I lost my cousin to domestic violence. I didn't want a relationship. I liked to hang out and not feel the need for being 'caught up'. I remember writing in my Senior Book that I didn't want to get married nor have any children. I feel hard for Chance. We have a relationship like no other. We have grown so much together and he is my best friend.
Chance Bryant Nesbitt is a great guy. I shouldn't brag on our relationship because everything wasn't cookies and ice cream but we got over the hump. The hump was before the actual relationship. I love him with everything!! He tries so hard to be the perfect husband and father and this makes me try to be the perfect wife and mother. I know that we have a long way to go but I am glad that I am traveling with him. We made this move to Missouri together and so far, we are adjusting LOL.

The Outside Adventures

I don't remember much about hanging outside when I was growing up. I stayed in the house alot. I hated making new friends or just the drama of outside. Children are cruel...being picked on did NOTHING for my self-esteem. I was bullied until I was eleven, after that, I had to be the security guard for my siblings. I stayed in and read books such as Sweet Valley High, the Babysitters Club, Nancy Drew Mysteries, listen to music and wrote.

Yesterday, my girls made 'friends'. Four friends. Isabelle, Elizabeth, DJ, and Bobby. School is still in here because they have to make up snow days. Today, Chiane and Courtney waited anxiously until 4:30pm because their new 'friends' come home from school. These poor souls do not understand the wrath of "bossiness" between the Nesbitt chicks. Chiane is bossier. I feel sorry for these 'friends'.

Another thing I don't remember is being outside without some parental supervision. My grandma was always outside doing something...hanging out the clothes, sweeping the porch and driveway, cutting grass...something. These little chaps are outside riding up and down the subdivision and NO ONE is outside. This is a little new to me...
As I was sitting the window with CJ, I notice this guy talking to the group of friends. He talked for a long time, too long not to have any kids hanging outside. So I told Chance. He went to investigate. He found out that the guy works at some Wildlife place not too far from the neighborhood and wanted to educate the children on wildlife..hmmmm is all I am saying for now (stay tuned for that one).

I am glad they are outgoing like their dad. I was and still am (at times) a homebody. I am not quick to meet new people and definitely not quick to be friendly. I believe having my three chaps might help me to change that...we shall see.

Stay tuned...

New Adventures in a new city

I left my friends and birth family in my birth city of Memphis, Tennessee. My goal in life was to leave earlier before my college years. I am not saying anything about my mom's but close mindedness kept me in Memphis. When I talked about going to college, she said I couldn't go to a historic black college or University of Tennesssee at Martin. She based this of off the knowledge of others but she did not go to college. Being that she is the mother of eight children, I can imagine she did not have the time. Enough about her. My husband got a promotion and relocated us to Missouri. When he entered in the program, we knew there was a chance that he was going to relocate but it came sooner than we thought it would. February 12, 2011, I gave birth to my son, Chance Bryant Nesbitt, Jr. Everything on my career end was changing. I was about to start looking for something different but the relocation came rather quickly. NOW, I am a housewife. I have to make sure everything on the homefront is taking care of until I am comfortable with putting my new baby in someone else's care. This is the beginning of something I have to take ONE DAY at a time.

Lately, I have taught myself to crochet. Some of my peers may feel as though it's "granny like". If you know me...You know I can careless about anyone's opinion of me (most of the time). I love it. I have made monkeys, baby blankets, hats, scarfs, and socks. If you know of anyone that would like something made from yarn, let me know.

My Grandma

I have never been so afraid (that I can think of) in my life. Growing up, my family structure was the following: My maternal grandmother and grandfather, my moma, my aunt (who is two years younger) and my sisters and brothers (I am the oldest). We were taught about God but we never belonged to a church. I believe now that it may have been because it was so many of us. I learned to pray. I prayed for so many things. When I was younger, I prayed to be pretty. I pray for an escape. I just talked to the Lord all the time.
My upbringing was to negative. The things that were done in the house, I promised NEVER to do to my children. We went days and sometimes months without a phone. Days without lights. And struggled making food stretch to the end of the month. My grandma IS and always have been the rock. She was no angel, she was tough as nails. But she made a way for us to survive. If it wasn't for grandma, I don't think...well, I cannot say I she contributes to the entire success that I have accomplished in my life but I can say that she enstilled a strong will in me. She taought me, if a person won't do it for you, you have to get it yourself.
My grandfather was passive. He was also an alcoholic. Serious alcoholic. My granddad was disable I think he dranked to suffice alot of stress that were going on in his past. So my grandma was the head of the household.

Today, I got news that my grandma has a growth on her lung. For years, she didn't want to go to the doctor because she was afraid she was going to get diagnosed with cancer. I am faced with a horrifying truth. It maybe/LORD KNOWS I hope not. I am one of those types that feels you didn't pick your family but they are still your family. I love my grandma with all my heart and soul. I cannot bear to think about losing her. Not to cancer. I am claiming, in the name of Jesus, that this is something that can be easily treated.

My Random thoughts

I have made some of the craziest decisions in my life. Sometimes, I still think about some of the things that I done...LOL.

Today, it snowed and we were at the house. ALL DAY. SO, I am working on a baby blanket for a boy. I really need to workout but I am too cold. The heater is on in the house but I cannot get warm. These walls are driving me nuts.

Tomorrow, I will have something better to post. LOL This is just random.

Day 10

Update on Grandma....

She is doing well. She doesn't have her finances in order in case of her passing and I am afraid when she passes, the family with split terribly. I am glad I have the backbone that I have but I am concerned for the younger generation.

I can't worry about that...Life...it is what it is.

This fasting thing is serving its purpose. I am dumping regularly :-) so that means I am not frowning as much. LOL.